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Cherri's Tales of Adventure


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I hope to do justice here to the likes of those who inspired me (namely, Chad Sexington and chumbucket)

Table of contents:


Hail and well met! I am Cherri, Grandmaster Mage. You may have seen me running around the bank roof, or perhaps you haven't. This is a tale of excitement, of horror, of virtues, of rats. Let me introduce to you our cast for the evening


Little did they know, our fates were intertwined. Shoelaces, not necessarily.

I happened upon a very active Despise in my wanderings. Rats and Dogs were replaced by bigger Rats and Silvery Snakes. Someone was afoot! Someone who was not kind to their dragons and wyrms!


I watched anxiously from the shadows as purple tornado after purple tornado tore apart the silver snakes. When will we learn to accept each other, no matter the color of our skin or wind? The torment rose to a climax as the snakes gave way to their master: a man in a jester's cap.


The adventurers fooled the fool with the clever use of a ledge. Of course! No piper could climb! Enraged, the piper danced merrily at them. But the party was making little progress. Help was needed, a call went out, and help arrived! Help who needed to dismount.


The gall! Bringing a brown horse this far into the depths of a dungeon! Barracoon would have none of this, and quickly began dancing fiercely at the horse. Provoked by the piping, the horse danced back. The valiant "a horse" threw down whatever moves it could as quickly as it could, only causing the cloaked man to escalate his moves. Finally, its former rider had seen enough.



How dare you? Arnold Horse was fighting for your right to party, and you struck him down in cold blood. Warm blood? Fiery... blood? He had done nothing and you burnt him alive as he danced for all our enjoyment.

I seethed silently, unable to cry out at the horrors I'd witnessed for fear of being detected. If these so-called adventurers would murder their own steed, what would they do to me if I showed my face? Now unburdened of their magnificent dancing horse, they were still not making progress with the rowdy Mr. Piper, so it seemed more help was to arrive.


And now our party was complete. That didn't mean things would seem to go much faster. It felt like hours, waiting behind those rocks, patiently watching as fireball after fireball and wither after wither was cast at the much maligned floutist. So much time passed that I needed a new magical light.


And still they spit fire at the spited man. No wonder all the merchants were out of Black Pearl! These fiends had bought it all out from every vendor, intent on using it to settle their differences with an impressive barrage of fireballs.


Further reinforcements arrived. Where these, too, destined to die by fiery orbs? What sadism was I witnessing this evening?

At last, the piper seemed fed up with his thousands of burns, he gave up his mad waltz and retreated toward the lake from whence he came. The party gave chase, and I carefully followed.



Trapped again! Those fiendish fiends! The man was on his last limb, every inch of his flesh meticulously scalded, and still they drove him. He had nowhere to run, unable to swim without removing his hat and cloak (and no self-respecting fool would do such a thing!). This was the end. I watched in horror as the group inched ever closer in to him, then dealt the final blow with the ten thousandth fireball.

Something had to be done. I'd seen too many atrocities tonight. This ragtag bunch of necromancers, mages, and an archer had gone too far. I needed to avenge the two best dancers I'd ever seen, for they'd inspired me. But alas, I was one mage against five very competent fireball-slingers. I had to enact justice the only way I knew how.


I took. I stole what they'd stolen from Barracoon. It still held his curses, screamed from behind singed lips with his dying breath.

Still not feeling he'd been avenged, and having made sure the first scroll was safe, I returned to further avenge this kindred spirit. It's not pictured, but rest assured, yet another of scroll of the Piper's wisdom, similarly cursed, was relieved before this picture.


I'd spent too long in the depths of Despise that evening, and I'd seen too much. I needed rest. I tried to forget what happened the night before.

When I awoke, I made my way to town and, seeing one of the culprits from the night before, my anger was renewed. I knew I must act yet again. After all, Barracoon's memory should not be lost so easily. I stole again.



And so it came to pass. An evening of excitement (Vas Flam), of horror (you'll be missed, Arnold), of virtues (patience is a virtue!), of rats (you be the judge).


I hope you enjoyed my first story here, and I hope we can all continue to get along. I feel this is as good a time as any to mention that I've opened a vendor in my home, just West of the player town near Minoc. Here you can find many of the goods featured in today's adventure, as well as other exploits yet to be written.


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New Member
A lot of these pictures were from my first day attempting to document. Sorry for the quality of the crops and the lack of pictures that would tell a more coherent story.

Once upon a time, there was an aspiring adventurer named Cherri. She aimed to become the best adventurer she could be. She had just finished Magery College, earning her Grandmastership, but was nervous of the world around her. Before she ventured out into the big scary world, two thoughts crossed her mind:

She had no idea how to prepare herself for the real world.
She needed a guild.

A brilliant idea came to her: these people in town were adventurers, like she aspired to be! They must know how to prepare for the world at large! So Cherri politely inspected what they armed themselves with against the world.


Ah, maybe she needed a bow to guard herself.


A boat! Of course! Perhaps the high seas was calling to her!


Or a costume, just in time for Halloween! She'd blend in as a Mongbat and sneak past the scary monsters!


Or maybe she just needed a mask to scare her way through?

This was going nowhere. These people all had their own, specific plans. She needed a Cherri plan, and she needed a guild. She didn't want to join the Mage's guild, no matter how much the Guild Master would plead with her. She'd hated Magery College, only sticking it out to earn her degree. After a week of prodding and pleading, she finally found someone whose values aligned:


Here was a woman who understood how to survive in the world. A woman with street smarts, and very pointy-looking weapon. Cherri joined as soon as she was able, and immediately set about thinking how she could do her newfound compatriots proud.

Of course! The other adventurers who'd helped her out before! Cherri rushed back to the First Bank of Britain, anxious to find some more folks loitering around, offering more of their assistance once again.

Quietly she crept, aware that there would be those in rival guilds who may not take kindly to her new affiliations. She inspected, she reached out, she grabbed the gold!



(providers not photographed well, hands shaking due to too much excitement)

Success! These adventurers had thought so kindly to leave their belongings unattended, and so our hero reached out and made sure they found a safer home. Feeling the rush of her success, and the silent admiration of her new guild mates, she pressed her luck onward.



This first adventure had planted a seed in Cherri's heart. It grew and grew until a flower blossomed in her mind. She'd found her purpose! She would help secure that which was unsecured, she would help those who had become overburdened. She would bring safety back to Britannia! She spent a bit of her newfound wealth to make a pact with the gods.


Until next time: toodles!


New Member
I've been trying to space these out to roughly weekly, but this one's short enough I'm just going to post it now =)


Ghosts are everywhere. Just check in your nearest graveyard or nearest a PK and you'll see a few restless spirits wandering around. But there was, once, a ghost who threatened the world itself. I was there, patrolling the bank rooftops, standing vigilant against suspicious backpacks. When the Ghost Ship attacked, the very ground beneath us quaked, and quaked, and quaked. When the dust settled, it had been vanquished, returned back to the night, and those of us that had survived each took a portion of the ghost's essence and imbued it into a ghostly anchor to forever seal away the doom we'd narrowly avoided. Mine is proudly displayed on my rooftop.


Flash forward to today. While making my usual patrol around the great city of Britain, I found a most dangerous threat.


You fool! Billy Jean! An unsecured ghost was how we get into that situation in the first place! You can't just leave something like that sitting around! Luckily I, officer Cherri, Grandmaster Mage and Lead Bag Inspector, was on the case.


I quickly grabbed the contraband and moved it to a safer location.

If you or a loved one think they are capable of more responsible handling of such a dangerous (and rare!) artifact, please let Luigi know. He is well trained to ascertain one's trustworthiness. If you pass his trial, he'll entrust you with this artifact or others.


If you happen to find any other dangerous artifacts that could potentially damage the fabric of our world, please report them immediately to a BSA member for proper containment and disposal.



New Member
Hello again! It is I, Cherri, Lead Bag Inspector. This is a tale in three parts.

A Tale of Luck

Upon making my usual rounds at the West Brit. Bank, I found a most dangerous subject. The great (now Lord) Beef was too busy to notice the danger lying in his bags.


Never fear, Britannia! My constant vigilance will keep such dangerous artifacts behind the vigilant eye of my vendor (now at the Yew Gate). But this would spell the slow downfall of my luck for 24 hours.

A Tale of Persistence

Hours of boredom, I decided to swing a bit further East on my shift than normal. See something new, maybe get a new hat. I like hats. But it seems I found a few new friends!


Who should I see but Pixels and Jnco, spending a relaxing, late night among their fellow tailors. Pixels was even so generous to donate a full suit of his lucky armor!

Unfortunately, most of the other officers of the peace didn't want me shirking off my shift so long. Several, SEVERAL trips to my local healer later, and I was ready to gear up!


What a nice fellow. I'll have to remember to come back and thank him later.

A Tale of Disappointment

Enter yet another generous donor.


Ah yes, Tarlugh. What a fine, upstanding Britannian! A ship, you say? Fine, I'll patrol the seas today. But where to find it... One [Kal Ort Por] later, and I was...


Oh. Oh it was just over across from the Inn. Other side of the docks. Here I was thinking this would be an adventure!


After hours of sailing, what the untrained eye might call joy riding, Taking the boat out for a spin was even more boring than the walk around the bank!

It was time to bring this joy sail to an end. Dock Town seemed a fitting place to dock. I skillfully piloted it up to the nearest dock master, so I could more easily return it, you see. But much to my dismay, the dock master was blind!


It's right there, you fool! Look around!

I was forced to leave it unsecured in Dock Town, but I did make sure to leave the fair Tarlugh a proper note to let him know what happened.


Maybe my luck will get better next time. Until then, toodles!

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New Member
Hello again! It is I, Cherri, Lead Bag Inspector at the BSA. Only bag inspector, but that's not the point. Last week you were regailed with tales of woe, of sorrow. This week will be different! This is the tale of the best night ever.

The day before those clumsy, nosy local flatfoots started patrolling, I'd been clumsily sneaking around West Britain Bank in the afternoon, relieving those with contraband. Someone was harboring some SOS papers, clearly from an earlier rampage of pirating they'd been up to. Unfortunately, I didn't get their name (but rest assured, Chief Custodian Luigi is now in charge of those!).


(Shameless plug accomplished)​

Because further danger was afoot! Someone was opening dangerous, perhaps even malicious portals near the bank! And they were even red!


It is my honored, civic duty to investigate on your behalf, citizens, so investigate I did. What I found was, frankly, shocking.



It was a fight club! A man(?) dressed mockingly close to Barracoon was Wrestling with a Mage fresh from the great Magery College, presumably for these others' pleasure. And is that Dragon dead? I wondered if he could see me as well as I could see him, ghostly forms and all. I took some time to familiarize myself with the joint; there were too many for me to bust up the ring, and I definitely didn't want to tussle with a ghost of a dragon.


Oooo, shiny!​

At last, I settled myself upstairs for a stakeout.


It wasn't long (well, actually it was several hours, but in terms of stakeouts, it wasn't long) before I heard a rustling sound from the piles upon piles of gold in the North East tower. I crept over to investigate.



Hello, new friend! That's a mighty fine Lance you've got yourself. It does seem sort of pointy, though. I wouldn't want that to be used against any humans. Wait! Of course! The dragon from earlier! This must be the culprit! After all, he is Evil (it says so right there!)

He took his horse to the dinner table, and I joined him. I waited to lull him in to a false sense of security, like a good officer of the peace. Then, I struck, a minor blow of vengeance to avenge the fallen, presumably helpless, dragon. A blow to break up the earlier fight club once and for all.



I panicked, but he didn't seem to notice my failed attempt at justice. Too busy letting his nightmare sip the ale, I suppose. I had to come up with an alternate way to end this. But how could I take down a fighter such as he, disarmed though he may now be?




That oughta do it. I collected what evidence I could, hoping those judges in Yew could finally make a conviction this time, but when I heard his friends coming, I had to cheese it before my cover was blown.

I guess you could say I made some folks more aware of their home security. Maybe Lord British will fund some sort of sister branch to the Britannian Security Agency. Something to secure our homes, and our land. Oh well, you know how bureaucracy is.


Mission accomplished! But the night was just getting started... (Toodles!)


New Member
Our story continues with an anonymous tip that something might be happening somewhere. You can't be in law enforcement as long as I have without earning an intuition that rivals a woman's. I've seen a lot in my two weeks on the force. I figured they meant Barracoon. What else do people do these days? I crept in the back way, and sure enough, there was something afoot.


Our cast for the evening.​


I think my hunch may have been correct...


The usual spot.​

Ah yes, I know this song and dance. They'll just sit there and slowly but steadily burn this musician to a crisp. What had he ever done to them? Little did I know, tonight was going to change all of our lives.

The team Vas Flam'd as hard and as fast as they knew how, until suddenly...


(I was too busy laughing to capture the first teleport properly, so here's a later one)​

The piper fights back! He finally learned enough Magery to cast Teleport! And it was super effective. Havoc was wreaked as unexpected Ratman (and Ratmen!) closed the gap to the frail Liches (lichen?). Advil tried to punch him back but spawned more Ratmen and ultimately perished.



Eventually, through much perserverance and repositioning, the Dancing Bard was finally routed, and the team moved in for the kill.

I had a small telepathic link to Advil's backpack as I waited for the inevitable essence to be spread to those mighty enough to fell a Ratman in a jester's hat.


Wait for it...


Let's just mouse over this to see if it's worth my time... annnnnd it's gone.​

That was lightning fast! Well done! My time teaching Preventing Pickpockets, 102 at the Britannian Recreation Center has paid off. You see, like we teach in the class, Beetles can't fall prey to pickpockets (all pickpockets are too dainty to put their hand in the beetle's "pouch"). Beetles are blue. Horde Minions are blue. QED, Horde Minions are also immune to bag inspection.

In my ~~frustration~~ pride at being ~~thwarted~~ shown an example of great security practices, someone must've gotten wind of my presence (or maybe I should look in to a shower for my home)



Luckily, I am a trained practitioner of the stealthy arts. The diploma I had scribed says so.

Having scooped up all the loose gold I could carry, I wander about some as the group does their best to pick the bones clean. I scootch over close to Lambic's Horde Minion. I did spend a summer abroad studying Necromancy, maybe it would show me what it had if I asked nicely?

Oh. Oh you can snoop Minions. Good to know.


Victorious escape to the doubly dangerous Terathan Keep.​

I stashed the goods in a secure vault, and watched as the team of Lichen-thropics finished cleaning up their loot. They said their farewells and parted ways. Maybe I could catch one of them in their homes in the Player Town North of Minoc.



Nope, but I found The Wretched Necromancer. And, erhm, well... I'm just a humble baggage inspector, but someone should really write him up for indecent exposure.


Ah, it seemed he had just purchased new armor and couldn't wait for the privacy of a privy to put on his new clothes. I guess that means he wouldn't be needing his old pants. I waited to hear those powerful words, [Kal Ort Por] and relieved him of his trousers as he teleported out.


To be honest, I wasn't really sure why I grabbed these, but I did.​

Aha! Lambic, one of the slayers of the Barracoon. I decided to leave him a warning the only way someone who owned a used pair of green pants could.


I had to move The Head of Barracoon from Lambic's backpack to the makeshift monument, but it was worth it.​

It was then that I realized I'd forgotten one of my most important duties as a servant of the people. I needed to clean up all the extra monsters summoned into the depths of Despise before they could ruin the delicate Ogre Lord's ecosystem. I took the long way around back to Barracoon's Idol, and found two horses parked illegally. Cherri is on the case!



A body! I went back to enter Wraith Form so I could better investigate. It still smelled fresh. Blue, even. Something dangerous was ahead. Was it just the Piper, back for vengeance?



Ooo, look at the new stairs!​

There had been a murder! This was clearly beyond my pay-grade, so I made sure to cheese it just as soon as I'd scavenged what was left. I made it out safely, and lived to inspect bags another day.

And so ends the story of my greatest night (so far!). I hope you enjoyed it half as much as I did. Toodles for now!


New Member
Love it! Forgot about Chad, I was in his Thief guild, and featured in like one of his comics too! I was the guy who needed recall scrolls haha!
Just looked over his site, I was in episode 21 and then im in guild chat in Episode 22 hahaah, memories

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